


Some Things Don't Have To Be Said To Be Heard

by JeremiahHeere



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz, Be More Chill - Ned Vizinni
Genre: Abandonment, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hearing Voices, M/M, Sad, but it gets better, how do you tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-14
Updated: 2018-11-14
Packaged: 2019-08-23 18:15:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16623983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JeremiahHeere/pseuds/JeremiahHeere
Summary: Jeremy is in his happy place trying to clear his mind when his only friend comes along. Im bad at summaries, just read it please.





	Some Things Don't Have To Be Said To Be Heard

**Author's Note:**

> When you have to write a paper for class and it just turns into a fanfic.

I can’t drown my demons because they seem to know how to swim. How do I get rid of them? Well, I have been trying to assemble any kind of answer for the past seventeen years with no luck. Everyday it seems like they find something new to criticize me me about. Things like how I look, about how my actions can be idiotic, and how I will never have anyone who truly cares about me. I know the last thing is false because I have Michael, but sometimes their whispers become too loud to ignore, so I give in an listen.  
The only thing I find that helps me is sitting under the oak tree just outside of town. Nobody knows I go there except for Michael because I usually don’t want to be disturbed there. It’s the only time where I can just sit in silence. It’s like when I’m sitting there, nothing else is happening around me. The voices in my head leave for a little bit and it’s relaxing. If only I knew how to be like this all the time.  
When the voices can’t be heard, I get to think about the things that I actually want to think about. I can think about my future and what it will be like in college, I can think about my family I will hopefully have one day, I can just think about all the good things in life rather than the bad. It’s nice to be alone at some times, but it doesn’t mean you’re lonely. It simply just means you enjoy time to yourself. I do have to admit, I do get lonely sometimes, but I need these times to myself.  
Under that tree is where I am now. I’m taking shallow breaths and I have my eyes closed with my head leaned against the trunk of the tree. It is calm and quiet besides the occasional bird chirping. The breeze sends chills down my back, but I like it. It lets me know that reality is still a real thing and that I can come back to it at any time. My hand run up my opposite arm so I can remind myself that I am still there. It’s weird that I know that my surroundings are still real, but I get so lost sometimes that I need a reminder that I am still real.  
I come out of whatever trance I go into when I feel someone sit beside. I open my eyes just a little bit and look to my right to see Michael.  
“I figured I could find you here.” He tells me. His voice has always been so soothing to me and he seems so carefree about every word he says. I guess I have always been jealous of that.  
I nod to acknowledge that he was heard and close my eyes again. He knows how I get at these times, so he doesn’t say anything, he just sits beside me. I don’t know why, but now everything feels different. The voices are slowly coming back.  
“He’s going to leave you.” The voices say.  
“No he won’t.” I think.  
“People have left before, what makes him different?”  
I get deeper and deeper into the thoughts and I felt like the demons were drowning me instead and that I had no experience of swimming in my life. I don’t realize I’m crying until I feel a thumb wipe my eye.  
“What’s on your mind?” He asked. It was more of a whisper, like if he talked any louder I would break. I don’t reply.I keep my eyes forward to look out on the path that leads to our small town. I feel like if I look at him, he will disappear. He seems too good to be real sometimes and I hate the thoughts that tell me I could just be making him all up.  
It’s not until he takes my hand that I know he’s truly there.  
“I know you don’t like talking about what’s going on in your head, but sometimes it is better to get it out rather than have it all stored away.”I allow my head to drop onto his shoulder and he returns the action without hesitation.  
“You know I didn’t ask to be like this, right? I didn’t ask to have a million thoughts at a time to drag me down.” I mumble. I feel so powerless.  
“Nobody asked to be like the way they are or for what they had to go through. It’s okay to have thoughts.”  
“But it’s not okay for them to control your life.” I squeeze his hand just a little tighter.  
“Well, that’s what other people are here for. To help quiet the voices and tell you all the horrible things are false.”  
Now, what am I supposed to say to that? All my life I have known that people show up and leave without an excuse. Like my mom, she left me and dad two years ago without saying a word. All she did was leave some money so I could get by. Dad was still there, but not completely. He fell into a depression and locked himself away to where I barely see him. I had no other family to my knowledge and school wasn’t that much different. I was the outcast that daydreamed and never said a word. The only person who tried talking to me was Michael.  
He is the type of person who sets his mind on something and doesn't back down until whatever he wants done is done. He talked to me for days without me saying anything in return. It’s like he could read me like a book because he could always tell what I thought about things. I did finally open up to him, at least a little bit. He the only one who knows about my mom and he even helped me out a little bit last year with buying school supplies and clothes.  
I start feeling bad because somewhere in that time period I started crying harder, making his shoulder quite damp. He didn’t seem to mind, though.  
“Just let it out.” He told me.  
“Mikey, I just don’t want to lose you, too.” I say in between tears. I felt him kind of stiffen at that, but he quickly relaxed and pulled me into his arms.  
“I’m not going anywhere. For all those people who have left are missing out on so much. They don’t deserve you.”  
“He’s lying.” The voices say. “He just pities you. He will leave soon enough, just like everyone else.”  
“Please make it stop.” I whimper. I didn’t mean to say it out loud, but it just made Michael hold me tighter. The only reason he pulled back was to gently place his lips on my forehead. At that moment, everything is quiet. Everything seems to stop in reality and in whatever other world I go into. When he pulled his lips away, he placed his chin on top of my head and just held me.  
All was calm and quite. My tears stopped falling, but some still remained on my cheek. I didn’t want to pull away from his warmth. I am just tired I guess, mentally and physically. I sighed and relaxed my tense body against his.  
“I’m not going anywhere.” He repeats. He must tell part of me is still hesitant. “I love you, why would I leave?”  
I don’t reply, but for once, there is nothing that can change my mind that he is telling the truth. He seems to understand because he kisses me on top of my head once again.  
I guess some things don’t have to be said to be heard.


End file.
